I’ve become numb to “no’s” of all kinds.
Just to give you a better idea of where I’m at mentally….
I’ve been applying for jobs since February 2024. It’s now December 2024.
90 applications, 3 interviews, and 11 months later, this is where I’m at.
Yeah. It’s been THAT bad.
I’ve become so desensitized to rejection that this new way of being has spilled over into my personal life. And I’m not complaining!
This is a recovering people-pleaser’s dream! I’m thriving right now.
Maybe not in the eyes of corporate America, but who cares about that. I’m growing exponentially as a person.
What a life.
I’ve applied for every job under the sun. From a Receptionist, to a Bridal Stylist, to a Probations Correction Officer. I’m applying for positions I’ve never even considered. Jobs that I may not even be qualified for. Roles that I didn’t even know existed before now because, why not? The worst they can say is no. And they do. A lot.
I used to be afraid of rejection. Despite not WANTING to internalize it, I couldn’t help it.
Whether it was an employer sending me an automatic email response letting me know that they had chosen someone more qualified, or a handsome man very obviously wanting to keep me in the “pretty and fun, but nothing serious” category. My heart would break. I just KNEW something HAD to be wrong with me. Because, who could say no to this face?
Apparently, loads of people.
Despite the lack of funds in my bank account, the last 11 months without a job and countless email responses letting me know that I am not “the chosen one”, it’s been a pretty rewarding experience! I’ve grown a lot. Not by choice. I’ve been forced to. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’ve come to realize that sometimes, people are better suited for a role than I am – both in the workplace, and in the real world apparently. I’m not always someone’s cup of tea, and I’ve finally made peace with that. Especially after I’ve offered up my best.
I no longer feel the need to overplay my part in an effort to please, look for validation, question my worth, or ruminate on situations that don’t quite go my way.
The hard part for me about this period of unemployment has been the lack of feedback though. “Why wasn’t I chosen?” “What are they looking for?” Those thoughts are nothing new. I’ve asked myself those same questions in my personal life for YEARS.
But as the months go on, I don’t care to ask anymore, and I certainly don’t care to know. I simply don’t care. And I love that for me!
I’ve come to love “no’s”. They’ve increased my resilience, and they’ve taught me how to accept rejection as redirection. A reason to move on and find what’s truly for me.
It seems as though people-pleasing for me has finally become a habit of the past. Yes. There have been moments during this time where I’ve felt like I wasn’t “good enough”. But I’ve come to realize that it’s not that I’m not “good enough”. It’s more so about not being the right fit. And there’s nothing that I can do about that. It’s just the way the world works.
I’m good enough for me. And that one realization alone has completely wiped out my people-pleasing tendencies. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
